When you get stuck along Beach Road, better take the Middle Road. This is a website for those who choose to tread Saipan's off the beaten path. * + * + * + * + * + * + * + * + * + * + * + * + * + * + * + * + * + * + * + * + * + * + * + * + * + * + * + * + * + * + * + * + * + * +

Mar 30, 2007

Read, yes. Shared, not necessarily.

Last year, the New York Times ran a story that said hairy eyebrows were back in fashion. At the time, the London police had just uncovered an alleged plot to detonate 10 airliners over the Atlantic Ocean. The ceasefire in the Israel-Hezbollah conflict had just gone into effect. And then, of course, the term "planet" had just got a new definition and it excluded my zodiac sign's ruling planet, Pluto.

The earthshaking stories grabbed the headlines, and rightfully so. But thick eyebrows won the popularity contest. It topped the NYT's list of most emailed stories. "It says a lot about what topics people find interesting enough to pass along," a friend of mine commented.

That observation comes to mind every time I check NYT online. Just today, #1 on the NYT's most emailed is a piece about how the contents of a date's apartment can ruin a romance in the offing. A few days ago, it was an investigation on cheap cooking wine. Not long before that, the most popular NYT story looked into the increasing number of couples wanting to sleep on separate beds.

The New York Times is not the only newspaper site with this kind of listing. Other sites like the BBC have its most read and most emailed lists, too. Right this moment, the story most forwarded by readers of the British news agency is one about hackers targetting a UK department store. On the 2nd spot is a story on Durex's first UK recruitment drive for condom testers. Next up is an article about the ruckus over a milk chocolate sculpture of Jesus Christ that is on exhibit at a New York gallery.

Some of the news stories I've shared with friends are no less odd. Neither are the ones that my friends thought I might find interesting. The topics include Mariah Carey's trademarking lawsuit against a porn star named Mary Carey, a woman's death after a water drinking contest, and Beijing's taste for penis as a delicacy.

There are stuff that we read. Then, there are stuff that we share with others. What kind do you pass along?

Pleasant Care and bankruptcy

Did I spell the word right? Bankruptcy. Is it with a "T" or without? All I know is that Pleasant Care was on LA Times two days ago,on a bullet, telling the whole nation that it has filed for Chapter 11 Bankruptcy.

Hold on. Wait a minute, Hey KAP, didn't stockholder and co-owner recently present to the Micronesian Summit about her nursing school and nursing home facilities and basked under the Pleasant Care umbrella? Well, reports said through its PIO that her investments in the CNMI have nothing to do with the Pleasant Care wings at all.

Pleasant Care or Pleasant Scare, we'll have to wait and see.

The Reveler

"CUC: Can't Understand Customer (Service)

I'm taking this from an anonymous comment that CUC in the CNMI stands for "Can't Understand Customer Service."

Geek Goddess and I were at its Dan Dan Office to file for a refund and my, were there lots of people or customers either to complain or at least inquire. We secured a number and got a no. 7. I thought, at least it's 7 and it would be fast.

However, 30 minutes passed and we hadn't been called yet, only to find out that Customer (i don't) Care hollered for no. 23. Whoa?! Yes, 23 and then we saw someone had no. 27 stub in his hand. As we scanned the office, CUC had two customer service agents only and three tables were empty. What's going on? Can't they take a hint? Where's the manager?

Geek Goddess and I left before we reach an hour of futile waiting. We'll try our luck next time. Where are the other agents?

As we waited, we read this poster that says: "CUC spends $2.5 million every month for power plant 1 only." Imagine what it takes to put the burden to the customers to come up with such numbers?

Kudos to CUC, its customer care and its "electrifying" service!

The Reveler

Mar 28, 2007

Your movie pick

admit it. there's always a number one movie of all time for you. or number two. a tie. number three....

I'd say "The House of the Spirits."

The Reveler says "Dead Poets Society."

"Cinema Paradiso" and "The Bicycle Thief", says Geek Goddess. "Oh, and Wong Kar Wai's 'In the Mood for Love'."

Another says, "The Shawshank Redemption."

"Dune," one says.

"My Best Friend's Wedding" and "A Touch of Pink," another one says.

Random acts of billing

Have you ever wondered why your CUC power bill is sometimes way off the usual mark? Think no more. CUC does randomly select a figure for your monthly bill at times when they did not read your power meter because (and they usually tell customers this) they couldn't get past your barking dog or dogs. Your next billing will be adjusted accordingly; that is, if the meter's eventually read.

One customer got the same reasoning from CUC and said, "But I don't have dogs at home!"

Mar 27, 2007

Bitz n' Pizez

Heresays around the island:

Hearsay #1: The recovered body of the fourth Korean student that died last weekend at Forbidden Island is"hearsaid" to be bitten by sharks. Teachers at NMC even said the police or rescuers recovered just the head.

Hearsay #2: Two garment factories are up for closing down this month.

Hearsay #3: PIO of the governor sent press releases to the local media about the governor's daughter's achievements in school on mainland. Aren't government employees supposed to perform official government business only? Just asking....

Hearsay #4: Xterra winners booted out of race for Tagaman to give chance to others, for pete's sake....

Heresay #5: The CNMI soccer team lost to Guam because...

Oh well, more to come...

The Reveler

Earthquakes, Believe It or Not!

This is weird. Someone emailed me days ago from someone or an entity under the name of Marjanca Firm and this is what it told me:
After the twenty-fifth of March a natural catastrophe of global effect is coming. Central area is Japan. Taipei Taiwan. http://thespiritoftruth.up.md http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6gzwEdUvqY

Then, when I check BBC website this morning, this is what is what I got:
BBC-Earthquakes rock Pacific nations
Earthquake damage, Japan
Quake damage
An earthquake of magnitude 7.1 has struck off the west coast of Japan's largest island, Honshu.At least one person was killed and 150 were reportedly injured by the tremor which was felt in the capital, Tokyo.A tsunami warning was issued for a short time in Ishikawa prefecture, with swell of up to 50cm reported.
Meanwhile, two quakes - measured at 7.2 and 6.0 by the US - hit near Vanuatu in the southern Pacific Ocean. There were no reports of damage or casualties.
The larger quake struck at 1140 (0040 GMT Sunday), and was followed 28 minutes later by the magnitude 6.0 quake.
Both were centred 335km (210 miles) south-east of the capital, Port Vila.
Gave me goosebumps. Looking out for tsunami alert here....

The Reveler

Mar 26, 2007

Sweat, sweet victories at 18th Tagaman!

Snapshots of the Northern Marianas' oldest triathlon, 18th Tagaman, held on Saturday, March 24, 2007.

Photos by Weird Elle

Mar 25, 2007

A "Forbidden" tragedy

Reports said two NMC students and one from Mt.Carmel School that are Koreans perished in an excursion at the Forbidden Island Friday afternoon. One remains missing.

That's tragic. I haven't been to that side of the island yet. Is it really that dangerous to go out there? Now I'm scared to go there now....

Let's pray for their souls and their families to have strength in dealing with this tragedy.

The Reveler

Mar 24, 2007

VDay: Why cunt we talk about it?

Vagina Monologues: Reclaiming Peace

For Saipan, something like this is totally worth watching for as it seldom happens on the island that such prestigious magnum opus from renowned writers or playwright would be staged here.


1. Nancy Neilson's The Flood - she's funny with her fantasy about Burt Reynolds
2. Lynda Rowe's The Little Coochi Snorcher that Could - she is totally funny
3. Smell of the Vagina, conversations by Susan Fishman, Rhoda Brownstein, Meghan Syring, Jessica Jordan and again Nancy Neilson
4. Susan Book's My Short Skirt - she's a natural
5. The List (Wear and Say) - if your vagina could speak, what would it say?
6. Nahal Navidar's The Woman Who Loved to Make Vaginas Happy - oh my god, this woman stole the show! She talked to the audience naturally and her versions of moans is incredibly funny. I didn't know Jewish women moan like that, hmmmm....

Some intense monologues came from Amanda Armstrong, Reina Camacho and Sr. Stella Manglona, who read Eve Ensler's letter. Sr. Stella won't appear on second night so don't try to catch her on the second night.

Aww, who am I kidding, this group deserves two thumbs up for a wonderful performance.
Catch them still on Saturday, March 24 at American Memorial Park Visitor Center auditorium at 7pm....

The Reveler

Cohen, Stayman, and the federal takeover blues

Just a few weeks ago, U.S. Senate Committee on Energy and Natural Resources staffers Allen Stayman and Josh Johnson told local media that they’d be the ones drafting the CNMI immigration legislation after meeting with leaders of the local government and the private sector.

But early this week, Committee chair Jeff Bingaman and ranking member Pete Domenici asked Interior Secretary Dirk Kempthorne, in a letter, to draft the immigration takeover bill based on then-Sen. Frank Murkowski's S. 507 (which would have provided a 10-year transition period for the issuance of nonimmigrant temporary alien worker visas, and is identical to S. 1052 as passed by the U.S. Senate in the 106th Congress)


Cohen is currently on Saipan doing legwork for the draft bill.

Where does that leave Stayman, Johnson and the committee?

To approve or disapprove Cohen’s draft bill.

Cohen said it himself. (Will it be a waste of time if they reject Cohen’s draft?)

We sure hope that Cohen’s draft bill will be shared with the CNMI as well.

We want to know what’s axed, what’s retained by the committee. And why.

it's interesting to know how they differ on issues -- comparing Cohen's draft bill with that of what's going to be introduced by the committee.

Has Cohen taken (or will take) an approach different from that of Stayman and Johnson?

Mar 23, 2007


Swiss triathlete Olivier Marceau (in blue gear) dominated the XTERRA Saipan for the third year on March 17, 2007, after clocking two hours, 27 minutes and 16 seconds in the swim-bike-run race.

XTERRA Saipan 2007 brought together 19 pros from Australia, Canada, Estonia, Germany, Hungary, Japan, South Africa, Switzerland, and the United States, in addition to participants from the CNMI and Guam, among other places.

Photos by Weird Elle

Fitial is the new BB!

Forget "Better Times."

BT (for Ben & Tim) exists no longer, at least as far as Palau President Tommy Remengasau is concerned.

Remengasau, in his remarks at the closing of the Western Micronesian Chief Executives Summit this morning, gave the CNMI governor a new nickname. Gov. Benigno R. Fitial shall now be known as “BB”—or Bionic Ben—in reference to the metal put in the governor’s spine during his recent operations.

The joke got some laughs, but I'm not sure if Fitial thought it was funny.

I wonder what John Babauta and friends will say about this.

Mar 21, 2007

Oil-coholics Anonymous...

Second day of the 7th Western Micronesian Chief Executives Summit, there was this guest from the Leonie Renewable Energy company, I believe he's the vice-president and he's name is Bob Deluca or Delebaca, something like that. He spoke after the two oil companies presented (mobil and shell).

Then the renewable and alternative energy companies and advocates followed.

He asked the audience if anyone had problems with substance abuse. Giggles. But no one raised his hands. He said, "I do. I have problems with substance abuse. I drink coffee...i smoke cigarettes....I'm oil-coholic."

He then went on urging everyone not to be dependent on oil. He presented alternative source of power especially that Saipan has a lot of sun. He said right after his presentation he would head down to the beach, drink, bask under the beautiful Saipan sun and "turn into a solar cell."

The morning session of the summit was over and the emcee announced that lunch was sponsored by Exxon Mobil.

I wanted to ask the guy, if he would take that lunch. Oh well....

The Reveler


This is not about Martin Scorsese's "The Departed," but the rat problem on Saipan.

The rats are bigger than the cats in some areas. They cross the streets on broad daylight. You see some unfortunate ones driven over. (I know, I know, you see them in government offices as well - no pun intended)

Here are some real rat experiences by people I know:

Friend A visited a friend’s house and left his shoes outside. When he’s about to leave, he put his foot in his shoe and noticed something in it. Guess what it was…

Friend B, along with friends, was swimming in a pool. It was too late before the group learned that a dead rat’s floating nearby.

Former Rep. Frank G. Cepeda, as quoted in the paper Tuesday, said three neglected homestead lots in As Matuis are now breeding grounds for rats that are pestering his and other houses.

But these incidents pale in comparison to what happened between June 2000 and August 2001 when the Commonwealth Health Center diagnosed 10 cases of leptospirosis. (Its most common sources of infection are rats). Eight of those cases required hospitalization. Three resulted in death, as stated in the Department of Public Health’s December 2001 report to the South Pacific Community, and as reported by media (although fragmented) during those times.

If you believe in horoscopes, in ancient times, the rat was associated with aggression, wealth, charm, and order, yet also associated with death, war, the occult, pestilence, and atrocities.

And...viewed “The Departed” DVDs are on sale at Blockbuster for up to $10.

Mar 20, 2007

Are you old enough?

(Reuters photo)

If you are at least 66 years old, you will get a 50 percent discount for sex in the afternoon. No, it’s not happening (yet?) on Saipan, but in the western city of Cologne, Germany. The closest thing Saipan can offer is "sex now, pay later" and it knows no age.

A Reuters report said a particular German brothel introduced reduced rates for sex session for clients aged 66 and above--provided they can prove they are old enough. A ‘normal session’ in the brothel costs 50 euros, and the elderly get to pay only half.

They also offer 50 percent off sex services between midday and 5 p.m. every day.

A series of unfortunate events

The car got stuck.

Everybody's gone home. Nobody to drive me home.

I needed to hail a cab. But I only had $2 cash in my wallet. A check wouldn't do.

Called a friend. Already asleep.

Had to check the bag for coins. Found $4 (of coins), enough to pay for the taxi service.

No cooked food at home.

Midnight supper.


No bearable TV show.

Had to wake up early to ride with somebody to get to work.

Car needed repair.

Left car keys to auto mechanic.

Oooops, I gave the wrong keys. Couldn't open the house door.

Needed to ask somebody for a ride back to the auto shop.

Home, finally.

Mar 19, 2007

Cheers and Jeers

It’s not so much about the $200,000 that the government would be able to save per year if all the 42 elected officials and members of the judiciary voluntarily take a 10 percent cut in their salaries, as reported by Marianas Variety. (What is $200,000 a year versus the $150,000 that the Fitial administration will be paying a mining consultant in connection with the selling of Pagan’s volcanic ash, other independent contractors and political hires?)

It’s more of sharing the burden in these tough economic times.

A government employee who earns $13,000 a year gets a 10 percent cut in his salary, while a lawmaker who earns close to $40,000 a year is not exempted from the cut, thanks to Public Law 15-24 or the austerity Friday law. Members of the CNMI Supreme Court and Superior Court, who earn much more than $13,000 or the close to $40,000 by lawmakers, also don’t get pay cuts.

How could top elected officials expect lower paid government employees and the community at large to believe in them if they don’t lead by example? During the last elections, these leaders promised to work for the people and with the people but are now singing a different tune.

Public Auditor Mike Sablan, as quoted by Marianas Variety, said it well: “The voluntary acceptance of a 10 percent reduction by all elected officials and members of the judiciary would serve as a morale booster and encourage employees throughout the government to be more supportive and understanding of their forced reduction in pay.”

But of course, there is a separation of powers. The executive branch can’t tell the legislative branch or the judiciary branch what to do in these tough economic times. They already know what to do…right?

Libra Mae Sparks Chronicles: # 3

Whoa! Sparky has resigned?! Of course, I don't believe it. "Editor's Note: Yeah, Girl right, see ya next week." So, if this were true, there goes one writer of the Libra Mae Sparks Committee and a handful of them are still there.
To PTIMES, GOODBYE, but not forever. I really wanted my relationship with PTimes for life, I mean, you know, like growing old together till we're 90 and being happy that DEATH has forgotten us? I never thought there'll come a time that our love story will end. Of course, that assumes that there was LOVE between us. Most often than not, I find myself at the end of the rope, hanging there, dodging the stones being cast on me, and nobody at Ptimes seems to be willing to take my neck out of it. It's hard to understand, but I guess I'll have to try. IT'S NOT EASY TO SAY GOODBYE. For all the joys we shared, all that time we had spent. Now if I had one wish we'll forever be back again. To look again into your eyes when you're mad at me after I messed up and hold you when you cry when Uly does not submit his articles on time to beat the deadline, I'll miss those times.
Yes, my heart is crushed, it's in pain. And although pain and happiness and all emotions exercise the muscles of our heart, I still say, Goodbyes are like DEATH. Both are NEVER EASY TO SAY, they're in fact, un-utterable. I can remember all those great times we had. There are so many memories, some good, some bad and thru it all, those memories will last forever. And so I've got to say, I'm just glad you came my way. IT'S NOT EASY TO SAY GOODBYE to a great MENTOR, a PROTECTOR, a FRIEND. Chief ALDWIN, Goodbye. (Editors Note: Yeah, see you next week, girl!)
But before I leave, read my LAST WORD for whatever it's worth. I know I made a lot of enemies but I made a lot of friends, too. And often times, I toss them back and forth. Due to my Politics which is not politics as usual, my thoughts may have been muddled with, and hidden behind, the anger it sows or the jealousy from those who wanted to have their thoughts known but choose to keep mum.
My POLITICS IS SIMPLIFIED now. I believe in what Reinhold Neibuhr says that the whole ART of politics consists in DIRECTING RATIONALLY the IRRATIONALITIES OF MEN and it takes a Great Man to know his own mind and sticks to it...I say, the CNMI has found a Great Man who unfolds naturally and completely what needs to be done, and does it. Yes, my politics is simplified now and it spells F-I-T-I-A-L. And I know in my heart, I cant be wrong now as I had been wrong in the past.
With this LAST WORD, I am tendering my resignation effective immediately. I bid you farewell, Adieu, GOODBYE, BUT NOT FOREVER.

Yeah, sure Sparky.

The Reveler

Mar 18, 2007

The Reckless Drivers

Photo caption: When to know that a Catholic drives so fast and furious....

Above photo was shared with me through chain e-mails and i believe worth sharing too. On this island, there are two major races that people have generalized to be poor and reckless drivers: Chinese and Koreans. Ok, this didn't come from me. It's just that friends had been in accidents or could've been accidents that involved either Chinese or Korean drivers. When one friend almost got killed when a Chinese woman cut her suddenly, all the woman could say to her was "Sorry, I don't know what I was doing...." Hello, then don't drive, right?

Another friend had a collision with a Korean driver, then the man pretended not to understand English, or maybe he really doesn't speak the language at all....My friend ended up receiving police reports that said both drivers were liable to the accident....

Oh there's more but i'm tired for now.

The Reveler

The gay sandwich

Well, now that Mexico has legislated civil union between same sex, I wonder how the US feels now that it is being "sandwiched" by two countries that recognized such union?

"With ketchup or mustard sir?"
BBC reports: Mexico City embraces gay unions
Antonio Medina (L) and Jorge Cerpa
Antonio Medina (L) said exclusion had come to an end
The first civil partnerships among same-sex couples in Mexico City have been celebrated under new legislation.
The law, which came into effect in the capital on Friday, gives gay couples similar social and inheritance rights to heterosexual couples.

The Reveler

SOCA, SOCAn We Move It Further?

Alright. Alright. March 30 is too "pretty darn" soon. So, the local government has moved the State of the Commonwealth Address from March 30 to April 27. What gives? Well, according to "pipol" the government is not ready yet and it would coincide with the Micronesian Summit on March 21 to 23. The governor will busy himself with entertaining and accommodating Office of Insular Affairs Dep. Asst. Sec. David Cohen.

Is the defunct and hoax group Milli Vanilli going to be in the SOCA to sing "Blame It on the Rain?"

The Reveler

Mar 17, 2007


i thought women in skimpy clothes 'solicit customers' only in garapan. i saw them in san antonio and chalan kanoa, too. talk about expanding the market. at one time, my friends and i tried to ask some of these women in garapan for their 'price'. my lady friend and i tried to hide at the back seat of the vehicle while our male friends tried to do the talking. but the women in sexy clothes had to really look inside the vehicle just to make sure, and saw us, so off she went. then a friend asked, maybe there's a code, like 'what time is it?' or 'how much is a can of soda' or something. we'll have to find out. while others who bragged about their night endeavors tried to give us figures, we thought it would be best if we get the numbers from the women. maybe i have to convince real men to do the talking next time.

Mar 16, 2007

Did you know?

…that the $2.3 million Wax Museum of Saipan, which officially opened on Nov. 17, 2006 on Ginger Street in Garapan, has only two real wax figures? (One’s the Frankenstein’s monster, which doesn’t have anything to do with the history of the Northern Marianas or the Chamorros, which is the theme of the museum). The rest are only wax coatings.

Photo by Weird Elle

Betel Nut on sale?

Just passed by this sign tonight that says "Betel Nut on Sale!"

Does this mean, this store is selling the betel nut on a lower price like buy four packs get 10 more free? Or it just says, that store is selling it?

The Reveler

Mar 15, 2007

When darkness falls on Saipan

Just starin' at it

Photo by Weird Elle

Optimism or naiveness?

The local papers carry stories of sham marriages every now and then. A guest worker marries a local only to get an IR status, in exchange for a fee, and they don't live in the same house nor see each other after the fake marriage.

a few years ago, i never thought such things happen here until i met a man who admitted to marrying a woman from here for the sole purpose of having an IR status (no kiss, no touch, a total mismatch). i could have gone to the police or immigration...but the optimist side of me thought maybe they'd learn to like each other so it won't be called a fraud after all.

and so far i havent seen his name in the papers or his face on TV arrested or charged with marriage fraud.

Mar 14, 2007

Night club after night club

In January, the court sentenced the owners of Red Heart Massage and Mayi Club—located along Beach Road in Garapan—to three years of imprisonment, for bringing in young women to Saipan and force them to become prostitutes. But just a month or two later, the same spot where Red Heart Massage and Mayi Club once stood is alive again! This time, it’s called RAINBOW club (or bar). true to its name, this supposedly new business is more colorful than its predecessor.

The judge who presided over the Red Heart Massage case, Associate Judge Kenneth Govendo, revoked permanently the business license of Red Heart Massage owner, Edward Cabrera. I assume he’s not the owner of Rainbow, or is he?

“Prostitution is all over the place. When you’re in Garapan, you will see pimps and prostitutes, yet we have very, very strong and serious laws about prostitution. The government has to send a message to the community — that they know what’s going on and they will do everything to stop it,” local newspapers quoted Judge Govendo as saying.

If one night club or massage parlor closes due to prostitution or any other violations, only to have another to take over its place, it appears there really is a market for such type of business here on the small island of Saipan. And otherwise, you won’t see girls in skimpy or sexy clothes waiting for customers on street corners in Garapan.

For whatever reason, despite the government’s so called effort to curb prostitution or the appearance of it, there is still prostitution, (now cheaper, some say because of the economy) although we read in the papers that from time to time there are women arrested for ‘soliciting’.

(speaking of bad economy, I was told other women sell themselves NOW but customers would pay LATER--after the customers receive their salaries. this applies to customers who are working on saipan, whether as resident or guest worker)

Remember the Starlite Club in Garapan, which recruited minors from the Philippines to strip dance? That club’s right across a police station for years and yet the abuses were supposedly discovered ONLY last year. And it was not discovered by chance by any police officer, but only after the minors and other women ran away from their employers.

(to be continued…)

Requiem for an affair

Milan Kundera, in his novel The Unbearable Lightness of Being, gives this advice on how to keep erotic friendships—or friends-with-benefits relationships—just that:
To ensure that erotic friendship never grew into the aggression of love, he [Tomas, the womanizing protagonist of the novel] would meet each of his long-term mistresses only at intervals. He considered this method flawless and propagated it among his friends: "The most important thing is to abide by the rule of threes. Either you see a woman three times in quick succession and then never again, or you maintain relations over the years but make sure the rendezvous are at least three weeks apart."
It appears it doesn't only apply to love affairs. I should have paid heed.

For the past three nights, I've been sleeping on The Reveler's couch. I have a big, comfortable bed at home. But there are things you have to do to stay on the good side of friends, particularly those who have a certain fear of being home alone. And who make sure you have a nice, hot breakfast waiting for you every morning.

So yeah, it's been me and the Couch for three straight* nights. I must admit, I'm starting to grow an attachment to it. Alas, all good things must come to an end. The Reveler's partner is coming back and my company will be needed no more. I would have liked another night or two, but it was good while it lasted.

* This is debatable. Opinions differ on the gender of the Couch.

Mar 13, 2007

He Said, She Said: 300, the movie

The Reveler: My gawd! Did we just see drop dead gorgeous hunk of burning love
men in there, or was it a figment of my imagination?
(Weird Elle and Geek Goddess walk out of the movie theater in utter reverie)

The Reveler: Don't you love those muscles and six to eight packs of hard,
stiff and chiseled abs! Did somebody turn off the AC inside the theater? My
it’s hot now eh?
Geek Goddess: It seems so. That movie should give the world a better idea of
global warming. Hot! Hot! Hot!
The Reveler: I love the fight scenes, it's the best fight sequence for me to
date since the Matrix. Visual effects is stunning. Those men can hurl me
anytime they want.

The Reveler: Geek Goddess you should be in that film! You're a better actress
than, uhmm, who's that guy? Oh yeah, that traitor!
Geek Goddess: Quasimodo-slash-Gollum?! Sure, Reveler. And you would have
been perfect as the council leader.
The Reveler: Say what? Council leader?

The Reveler: Weird Elle, wake up. Movie is over.
Weird Elle: All I can say about the movie is that I love the storyline, I
like it for being an epic and all that stuff. But of course, the fact that
300 "Spartans" with their skimpy costumes are there...water please!
The Reveler: All I can say is that in that movie, it's raining men and arrows!
Geek Goddess: Wait! Where's the rest room? Lemme pee!

A friend surmised that we, three are gawking about the 300 spartans, imagine the 10,000 more men in similar outfit and physique...Gaea! There's a god after all!

Mar 12, 2007

Yes, we're 1-month old!

Saipan Middle Road turns one month! Seems like yesterday.

Thank you for making us a part of your wild wired world!

Mar 11, 2007

Feeding a community

Finally, someone as authoritative as Bishop Tomas A. Camacho has given voice to the sentiments of families who are mourning the loss of their loved ones and are somehow obligated to feed an entire community every night for the nine-day rosary for the dead or what Chamorros call lisayon matai.

The bishop’s pastoral letter says it well -- that those left behind “are even deader than the dead” because of the practice of serving full course meals to those who attend the rosaries for nine nights.

The bishop’s new policy: No food allowed in eight of the nine nights of the rosary done in any parish church or social hall. On the day of the funeral, food may be served.

With the high cost of living, and the skyrocketing power bills, community members should not expect a family grieving the loss of its loved one to feed them. Coffee, biscuits and bread should be fine, just like in the old days.

If the rosaries are done at home, the family who can afford to feed an entire community can do so. However, according to the bishop, the kind of food served should be healthy, in light of the high rate of diabetes in the CNMI. It’s common knowledge that the food served on many of these occasions can result in a heart attack.

And isn’t it a shame that many in the community attend the rosaries not necessarily to pray for the dead and console the family of the dead, but to have free dinner? Worse, others go there to get food and head home. Heartless.

Libra Mae Sparks Chronicles #2

I'm at it again. Read Sparky's answer to all her mails she allegedly received over the past weeks and here's some of her answers PTimes published last Friday:
P is for Politics Too! - I think I made a lot of enemies last week. Whoa!! I feel recharged. I received a lot of emails full of insults, condescending remarks and proposals, proposals to smack my face when they see me around. Guess what? My Editor-in-Chief is so protective of me that you will NEVER see me around, not even my shadow. Not because I am not a real person, but because I am so valuable to him that he needs to&..HIDE ME.

Well, there is one email that I like to respond to only because I swoon over his name. Reading his email makes me feel like ANGELINA JOLIE. Okay, here's from Brad. Eeeeehhh!! BRAD PITT???

Your Editor-in-Chief is so protective of you? Best friends, huh? Folks, she said she is darn valuable to her editor that she needs to be hidden? Whoa, yeah right sparky.

She picked up "Brad"s" letter and responded to him:
Dear Brad, darling,

First, my boyfriend is Japanese, so I intentionally used "NE". So what's the fuzz about? Mind if I call you NEY, short for HONEY? Nah !! Second, If you are really one of the reporters based on the island, well, I feel sorry for you. What kind of newspaperman would use a typing machine that lacks the quotation mark key, I mean the " ", you know? Unless you really love question marks, I can understand you. Or maybe your right little finger is missing or maybe contracted, that your remaining fingers can't properly reach the quotation mark key? Anyway, read on. Third, let's get down to the issue. FDR was already deceased in 1968??? Oh my God, he was? I didn't mean to resurrect him. But you see, being in the Medical profession, I feel HIS LIFE EVERYDAY. He is ALIVE through the LEGACY he left.

What kind of newspaper would publish her responses in this style, a rebuttal to people's remarks about her writing that was never printed in black and white? Sparky, read Saipan Blogger and respond there properly. But of course, freedom of speech and your editor is so protective of you, so take your vengeance using the McDonald's newsletter. Ooops, did i say McDonald's newsletter? I happened to pick up one of "that" paper and noticed that McDonald's banner ad is bigger than your paper's mast head. People, McDonald's has nothing to do with this paper, ok. Oh well....

The Reveler

Mar 10, 2007

Ex-Quiz Me...Guess Where?

"Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?" That's not the game. Well, we just want to find out how well you know the island.

Well, you're in for a treat! Guess where you can find the following photos on the island? We will let you know the right answers sometime.

Photo No. 1

Photo No. 2

More to come....

The Reveler

Mar 9, 2007

SOCA--SOCAn it be more depressing?

Hear ye! Hear ye! It's the State of the Commonwealth Address from the current governor once again on March 30 at 9am. So are you prepared to hear more news about the State of the Commonwealth?

It's been a year and what a year it was, and what a year it is and what a year it will be next year!

So brothers and sisters, lend them [the officials] your ears! Hear them out! Heed their warning!

"How do I love thee, let me count the ways (to save more money)."

Just my personal bullets on what's going to happen, if matters are not carefully taken care of:

*Austerity Fridays every week
*Less fundings for the Education System
*More reduction in government workforce
*More Food Stamps recipients
*From copperwire theft to car breakins
*More cases of domestic violence due to mental breakdown of unemployed people
*Poker robberies left and right, day and night
*Rise of obesity due to unemployment, people will tend to sit in the dark, wallow, while eating leftover rice and expired SPAM
*Decrease of obesity due to unemployment, there's no more to eat, people will starve and schedule meals once a day between 3pm to 7pm, combining lunch and dinner
*Decrease in obesity, when gas price soars higher and higher, people would appreciate sea breeze and sunshine more because they would prefer to walk than use cars
*House rentals with four rooms for $300 or less. Landlords will compete for tenants, until they reach to $100 per month (hehe i wish)
*Households will sulk in the dark due to more expensive power or utility bills.
*On a positive note, sales of candles will rise
*More wrinkled shirts and pants because people will let ironing a thing in the past (well i hate ironing anyway)
*Beers in bars will sell in its actual selling price (my dont they charge too much!)
*Girly bars such as Chicago and Jama will offer nightly promos: table 1 (girl) get 1 free!
*Naked Stallion (strip bar for gaymen and spinsters) will resort to getting its owner to perform as well
*GIG Discotheque will transfer to former DPW office in Lower Base, due to proximity to Charlie Dock where visiting Marines dock from time to time. (Of course i'm kidding. GIG will always remain in Garapan housing 100 people out of 1,000 people capacity venue once a week)
*Libra Mae Sparks of Pacific Times will finally come out in the open trying to look for work in a girly bar
*Xterra and Tagaman will look for a better venue. Olivier Marceaux will race alone on the island for free, naked (hot hot hot) to attract spectators (no relations at all to this topic. I just want to see him naked!)
*Haoles will always enjoy Beach Volleyball and not RocBall but they will have to solicit for more sponsors to pay for their teams' registration fee
*DFS Galleria will still sell (thank God for remaining number of tourists)
*New nursing schools will be established, NMC's nursing department will reduce its faculty and staff due to low enrollment
*CNMI will remain green and blue, because people won't go out much often to picnic. Less trash on the island except in their own backyard
*More road kills, because cats and dogs are too famished that they won't be able to walk or run faster when crossing the road
*Pet owners will let their dogs remain unleashed so that the dogs could take a bite of bikers and strollers for free food (i know it's gross)

Oooooh i can go on forever! I don't mean to depress you more.

Hey, don't get me wrong, I'm still optimistic about this island. One thing is for sure despite all these--Saipan will remain a beautiful island, no matter what happens.

The Reveler

Still a paradise

This is one of those moments when you tell yourself, 'no matter what they say, Saipan is still beautiful...'

Photo by Weird Elle

On Women's Day

Random facts about women in the CNMI:

  • According to the 2000 Census, the CNMI population is made up of 54 percent women and 46 percent men.
  • Each house of the 15th Legislature has one woman member: Maria Frica T. Pangelinan in the Senate and Jacinta Kaipat in the House of Representatives.
  • Not one of the CNMI's Covenant negotiators was a woman.
  • Agnes McPhetres founded the Northern Marianas College in 1981.
  • Virginia Sablan Onerheim was the first indigenous woman judge to have served in the Superior Court.
  • Ramona Manglona is currently the only woman judge in the CNMI.
  • Rebecca Warfield is the first woman to become commissioner of the Department of Public Safety.
  • The Domestic Violence Intervention Center, only one of the agencies offering help to family abuse victims, handles an average of 125 domestic violence cases a year -- or 10 a month. Almost all of the victims are women.
  • Guma Esperansa served 30 victims of human trafficking in the Commonwealth in 2006 (according to social worker Lauri Ogumoro's testimony before a U.S. Senate committee on Feb. 8, 2007).
  • If things were left to the government, the 2007 International Women's Day might well pass unobserved. The Women's Affairs Office says fiscal austerity measures prevented any official activity marking this day.
  • Thanks to the volunteer group Off The Beaten Path, local audiences will have another chance to see The Vagina Monologues on stage. Eve Ensler's acclaimed play returns on March 24 at the American Memorial Park's Visitor Center.

Mar 7, 2007

When it rains it pours

What's there to do on a rainy day, besides coming up with a list of RAIN SONG(s)?

And no, we can't wait for NOVEMBER RAIN.

Because it's now! Look outside, HERE COMES THE RAIN AGAIN.

Yes, RAIN.


You say you can't get out, can't go to the beach, and you BLAME IT ON THE RAIN...

But don't you just love LAUGHTER IN THE RAIN?



After all's been said and done, don't ask me, "HAVE YOU EVER SEEN THE RAIN?"

And if we've had enough, WHO'LL STOP THE RAIN?

(Until the next rainy days)

Just asking

So who's more credible? David Cohen or Rudy Pamintuan?

Mar 6, 2007

Ice Cream sign anyone?

Just read this in the news today. A dispute over reinstallation of an ice cream sign that led to so many other things.
Saipan Tribune by FDelaTorre: The Superior Court has issued a ruling that resolved a legal dispute between a businessman and a building owner over the removal of an ice cream sign. Associate judge Juan T. Lizama's decision favored the building owner, Merci Corp., and cancelled its lease agreement with businessman John C. Jones.
“Because Merci did not breach Article 22 of the lease by failing to reinstall the sign, Jones cannot maintain a claim for breach of lease against Merci,” Lizama pointed out. Lizama said Jones is indebted to Merci for rent due in the amount of $5,000 plus late fees in the amount of $500 and attorney’s fees. The judge said Merci shall retain the $4,000 security deposit to account for $4,000 worth of rental payments. Jones is liable to Merci for an additional $1,000 in rental payments, $500 in late fees, and attorney's fees. Lizama gave the company 10 days to submit evidence of the attorney's fees it incurred.

Here's the link of the story on Saipan Tribune.
If Ace of Base were here, the 90's european band would have graced the court hearing singing "I saw the sign...."

The Reveler

Mar 5, 2007

Ms Magazine, a Twisted Media?

Special Assistant Richard Pierce said on his press release that work continues to preserve the garment industry. I clipped one part of the PR pertaining to Ms Magazine's report about labor abuses in sweat shops and all. Below is an excerpt of his PR:

“On the flip side, with a twisted national media driven by politics, the Ms Magazine article posted last year has now been identified as the reason Anne Taylor discontinued its business on-island. This is just another example of how outdated, embellished, and generally disregarded trash can affect the lives of people in the CNMI. While it's certainly true problems associated with the industry absolutely tarnished the CNMI's image years ago, and did also hurt business, changes recognized by many don't seem to be having a reciprocal effect,” Pierce said.

After the Senate Hearing last month, Ms Magazine once again put the CNMI in the limelight. Is there such thing as twisted media? I heard and read that Ms Magazine is one of the reputable publications in the US.

The Reveler

Mar 4, 2007

Rebate woes!

Have you received your tax rebates yet?

From the grapevine: if you are a local, chances are, you've already received your 2004 and 2005 rebates.

Those who are not from here, including those from the US mainland and nonresident workers, are still waiting for their 2004 rebates. Talk about equal treatment.

The government earlier said there will be no 2005 rebates yet to be given out except for those needing off-island medical referral yet we know of many residents who are now just waiting for their 2006 tax forms to be filed to get their money.

Libra Mae Sparks Chronicles 1

Welcome to the Libra Mae Sparks Journal. You're right, she is that effective for bringing entertainment to the CNMI with her profound weekly column at Pacific Times. Sources told me that Sparky is no longer an individual but has now become a COMMITTEE. Ooops, did i just capitalize that word. Sorry Sparky, that's your style. Should be yours alone.

Anyway, another excerpt from her highly intellectualized column. This time she poses as a local speaking about the federalization of the CNMI Immigration and the Dekada Group, composed of Non-Resident Workers. The Dekada is composed of members that have been working in the CNMI for at least five up to 40 years on the island, yet have remained aliens:

Pacific Times, March 2, 2007 (only excerpt)
"Now, do the DEKADAS have LEVERAGE like the Philippine Veterans? NO. What have they done for the CNMI lately? Have they volunteered to risk their lives for the country? NO. In fact, they even DEPLETED our coffers by SENDING OUT close to 90 MILLION dollars every year to their country of origin. What have they contributed to the economy? NOTHING!!!! They USED our small island to improve their ECONOMIC LIVELIHOOD in their country while depleting ours. Some of them GOT SO MANY valuable things from us, including our women's HUSBANDS!! I know, I know, I am hitting people below the belt, so let me just advise the DEKADAS to be a little bit more GRATEFUL to the CNMI. They were properly paid for the services they provided, so it's a QUID PRO QUO situation. They scratched our backs, and we scratched theirs. So, the DEKADAS should NOT act like a Bunch of INGRATES.

The problem is that WE, the CNMI local residents, are also SUCKERS. We allowed ourselves to be mere bystanders to the PROSTITUTION of our land. People come and go and for as long as we see beautiful legs, bulging boobs and gyrating asses, we think we are BIG SHOTS. So now, you are starting to see your island becoming SMALLER and SMALLER, right? Who is to blame for that? The Governor? You're so DUMB and DUMBER if you think that way. If these foreign workers can make their VOICES HEARD, so shouldn't the VOICES of the CNMI local residents be LOUDER so we can be heard as well? What have we become? A bunch of MUTED SCARY CATS?

Honestly, I am in favor of improving our immigration rules. Take note, I said, IMPROVE, NOT FEDERALIZE. We need to allow the foreign workers to bring their spouses and children to the CNMI so they don't need to send money to their country. IMPROVE the CNMI immigration laws by using the US mainland formula as template. Once given the immigrant's visa, then these workers will become OURS, no longer owned by the country where they came from. We retain the 90 MILLION dollars and we GROW as a NATION. The ECONOMY OF SCALE that the Governor is talking about will then KICK-IN.

It's not STAYMAN that can make or break us, it is WE, the locals who will do that to ourselves. Remember, IMMIGRANTS made America as GREAT as it is right now. We are a country of immigrants and no amount of debates can wash away the fact that CHANGE IS INEVITABLE. We can always CHANGE our IMMIGRATION RULES to IMPROVE IT, but NEVER SHOULD WE ALLOW to FEDERALIZE IT. The COVENANT - the AGREEMENT, MUST BE UPHELD!!!!

P.S. By the way, where is DAVID COHEN?? Is he a FRIEND or a FOE? Just when you need him, he's not there. Oh, well. There are NO permanent friends. NO permanent enemies. Just permanent INTERESTS. It's okay, Governor, your goal is our goal. Your Marianas is our Marianas, so, Good Luck, sir.

Sparky has such a gift of gab. For one moment she's saying that "IMMIGRANTS made America as GREAT," then this, "We can always CHANGE our IMMIGRATION RULES to IMPROVE IT, but NEVER SHOULD WE ALLOW to FEDERALIZE IT. The COVENANT - the AGREEMENT, MUST BE UPHELD!!!!" (why so angry Sparky?)

The Reveler

Mar 3, 2007

Kodak moment

TacDer spotted this in a shopping center in Chalan Kanoa.

Mar 2, 2007

Tax the alien's remittances?

Is it out of sheer desperation or out of mere creativity from the CNMI lawmakers to tap the remittances of the non-resident workers and tax them to increase the local government's depleting revenue? This letter to the editor we extracted from Saipan Tribune, might be worth sharing for many:

About permanent aliens

Dear Mr. Jose and anyone who supports his idea,

I picked up the papers in Wednesday morning to read some depressing news about the economy of Saipan. I was thoroughly prepared to read about the exit of garment factories, pullout of more airlines, and even rampant light bulb theft-the sister industry of copper wire theft. I was even prepared to read about war on Iran and Hillary Clinton's rise to the throne, to win my bet. However, I must be frank in professing that I was ill-prepared for your proposition of taxing remittances at 21.5 percent. Although I do not write these types of public letters, the ridiculousness of your proposition prompted me to furiously grab my pen, in utter case that the entire island remains reticent to irrationality.

Aside from the fact that these remittances are hard-earned money already taxed by the CNMI government under the umbrella of income tax, large-scale remittances is merely a symptom of a deeper divide. Mr. Jose, I refer you to the reason why remittances occur. I put the spotlight on our entire legal landscape designed to mold Saipan into a place to work and leave, not as a place to settle and live. First, we, foreigners and American citizens alike, no matter how long we have lived here, cannot own land, which does not quite promote investment in Saipan. For, how can we sprout our roots into Saipan, when the legal landscape of CNMI is as chalky as the soil itself? Second, we, foreigners, are considered permanent aliens, no matter how long we have inhabited on Saipan, despite even the snobby Romans gave their slaves their right to earn their citizenship and become naturalized into their society. How can we call Saipan our home with such hostile legal environment? Who can we blame but ourselves for the lack of investment?

As oxymoronic it may sound, the very attitude of our land, our harvest is what hampers the CNMI from attracting new investment. Perhaps, as you said, it is time for an overhaul. An oil change will not do.

Yuri Yamamoto
Tokyo, Japan

The Reveler

Mar 1, 2007

Presenting Saipan's very own band!!!

The Middle Roaders had a great lunch at Wild Bill's and we discussed the various comments that our readers post in this site. Suddenly it dawned to The Reveler about this idea of a band that could also represent the islands. So immediately our photographer and artist, Tacder, scribbled and sketched some ideas and voila!

We hope you like The Betels!

Favorite cuts in their albums: Let It Be-tel, Betel to Ride, Chew Together, and many more!!!

The Reveler
Art: Tacder

PSS' 10-minute exercise

The Public School System is mixed with the implementation of the wellness program in all 20 public schools. Why? It's because the Board of Education approved at least 40 minutes of exercise that is spread to each class.

The Education Board approved this to promote wellness and prevent onset of diabetes with the children in the CNMI.

Problem is with the secondary schools. This is how the secondary schools might be doing, each class will be allotting minimum of 10 minutes of exercise or physical fitness routine, meaning even the science class would have to allot minimum of physical education and get those idle high school butts up and move to remove some fats and be healthier.

I guess PE classes are not enough to lose those fats or there's not enough PE classes and PE teachers in the public schools? Parents what are we doing to promote wellness at your own home?

The Reveler

A Pleasant Dare for PR

Ok. Ok. Our post about PTimes 3 Equals Lie reached the "subject" after all. Latest buzz is Pleasant Care's officials will be releasing a Press Release on the issue of its numerous fines e.g $1.35 million obtained by the nursing home in California.

Where to release the PR? But of course, it's going to be on Pacific Times. Credible eh?

The Public School System and Northern Marianas College officials also expressed gratitude for the intention of the investments of the alleged company in the CNMI. Little that they know about the fines it incurred for the past years.

On one hand, it is absolutely great to learn about investors risking the "heart" beats of their pockets to uplift and put the CNMI in a more competitive arena in the Pacific.

We don't know and who knows, the new college, the new nursing homes can be an advantage in the Commonwealth. However, I suggest that we do our own research first before we get into something we would regret in the end....and i don't count myself out.

The Reveler

Translate: saipanmiddleroad.blogspot.com


About this site

This site is the Saipan Middle Roaders' blog--the wannabes, the frustrated ones, and the repressed ones...

There are several thoughts that have been written on paper, online or on the walls of every NMI building's bathrooms.

This site is for the geeks, for the shameless bitches, and for the restless drunks.

This site is for everyone.


Posts on this weblog are entirely the authors' opinions and views only.