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Dec 18, 2008

Funnyman Deanne Siemer

The email snafu between CNMI Government "volunteer" attorney Deanne Siemer and Congresswoman Tina Sablan is getting more bizarre. For those who haven't followed the story, Sablan sent a letter to CNMI Deputy Labor Director Cinta Kaipat on certain immigration issues. Siemer drafted a response for Kaipat to sign, and emailed it along with instructions. The problem was that Siemer emailed the draft letter and instructions to Sablan instead of Kaipat. Oops! Here's an excerpt from Siemer's instructions:

In my view, Tina has decided that you are a rising political star, and she's upset that someone she tried to brand as a racist is succeeding in persuading her colleagues at the Legislature. So we'll be on her radar screen for awhile. It is useful not to answer too promptly, but promptly enough. Letting her wait for a week or 10 days sends a message that we are respectful of all legislators, but we help productive people first and she is not in that line.

Siemer now claims that the whole thing was a joke. Siemer claims that she drafted a fake, satirical letter in order to be humorous, and purposely sent it to Sablan as a joke.

This piqued our interest. We had to see this brilliant piece of satirical humor that Siemer had sent to Sablan as a joke. Our intrepid investigative reporters dug it up. Here is Siemer's idea of comedy:

The Department is considering a policy change with respect to cases that have been on the docket of federal administrative agencies for over three years. It seems to us that three years is sufficient time for an agency to act. In the absence of action, unemployed foreign workers remain in the Commonwealth, often incurring medical and other expenses that Commonwealth taxpayers must shoulder. However, there may be countervailing policy considerations, and we are discussing these with the agencies involved. When you next have a conversation with one of these agencies, you might want to urge them to act on cases from the Commonwealth with more dispatch. It has been our experience that nearly all the cases filed with these agencies ultimately either are dismissed by them or a no-action letter is issued. Waiting for years for an agency to decide that it will not act is an administrative waste.

Wow, Deanne, that's funny stuff. When we read that, we laughed so hard that we peed in our pants. Shame on you, Tina Sablan, for not appreciating Deanne Siemer's hilarious sense of humor.

And to think, some of you thought that Siemer had sent this to Sablan by mistake, and didn't have the honesty, integrity, humility and courage to admit that she had made a mistake.


Anonymous said...

Deanne Slimer is a vicious evil old hag who is about as dry as dry ice. She is pretentious and arrogant and I wish this biatch would leave Saip, along with her cryptkeeper dufus Howard.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe Fitial is paying those haoles and they don't even live here.

Anonymous said...

I want to thank Siemer for single handedly killing the rest of Cinta Kaipat's political career. Though Kaipat did most of that herself, Siemer put the proverbial last nail in the coffin. Kaipat lost the last bit of credibility that she thought she had once Siemer hit "send".

Ron H said...

Writing a satirical letter here may qualify you for PNG status?

The Saipan Blogger アンジェロ・ビラゴメズ said...

Is that soup?

Anonymous said...

Har har, as one anonymous wag to another, I find it hilarious that you, "island Girl" are worried sick about somoeone else's "honesty, integrity, humility and courage" when you don't have the nuts to sign your own name. Bwaaahahaaaaaa.

Anonymous said...

Deanne Slimer is a cunt.

Anonymous said...

Hey Har Har Noni: How does being anonymous (like you) show a lack of honesty and integrity? And especially, how does it show a lack of HUMILITY? Courage, maybe, but I could argue that as well.

0de to dirty deanne the old hag from hell said...

Here's a Siemer limerick:

There once was an old hag named Deanne,
Who came to the island of Saipan.
A volunteer she became,
Spreading lies and placing blame,
And ghostwriting for some other dame.
How lame?

Not quite as you see,
As busy as a bee,
Attacking Tina and good people endlessly.

Why you may wonder,
What spell is she under?

We may never know but one thing is surely true,
She can look you in the eye and lie to you.

Deanne is as arrogant as Fitial is a crook,
These two should retire and write a book.

The title could be "How we Screwed the CNMI" and the best thing about it?
They won't have to lie!!!

Anonymous said...

Deanne Slimer is a cunt. End of story.

Anonymous said...

Wow! Is this the best the CNMI can do newsworthy-wise? I thought we had problems but it appears that there are many out there who have a lot of time to waste... Mature up CNMI! We have bigger problems to tackle.

Anonymous said...

I think this Siemer episode is serious. It's just another example of what is going on behind the Guv's closed doors. This woman is interferring with elected officals and has no business doing what she is doing. We are just lucky she did make a "send" mistake so now we know what this woman is up to.

carlos the mackerel said...

Actually, that's not a limerick. If it were, the fifth line would rhyme with the first two, and the whole thing would end there.

So what you need is a fifth line ending in a word that rhymes with "Deanne" and "Saipan."

Some possibilities include: ban, fan, man, Japan, Duran, flash in the pan, and (of course) Willie Tan. That last one is too easy for this crowd though. For a real challenge, try to end it with "Koran."

Anonymous said...

Who negotiated the treaty with Congress to make the islands a tax-free U.S. territory? Who wrote your constitution?

Are there any schools in Saipan?

Translate: saipanmiddleroad.blogspot.com


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