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Mar 11, 2007

Libra Mae Sparks Chronicles #2

I'm at it again. Read Sparky's answer to all her mails she allegedly received over the past weeks and here's some of her answers PTimes published last Friday:
P is for Politics Too! - I think I made a lot of enemies last week. Whoa!! I feel recharged. I received a lot of emails full of insults, condescending remarks and proposals, proposals to smack my face when they see me around. Guess what? My Editor-in-Chief is so protective of me that you will NEVER see me around, not even my shadow. Not because I am not a real person, but because I am so valuable to him that he needs to&..HIDE ME.

Well, there is one email that I like to respond to only because I swoon over his name. Reading his email makes me feel like ANGELINA JOLIE. Okay, here's from Brad. Eeeeehhh!! BRAD PITT???

Your Editor-in-Chief is so protective of you? Best friends, huh? Folks, she said she is darn valuable to her editor that she needs to be hidden? Whoa, yeah right sparky.

She picked up "Brad"s" letter and responded to him:
Dear Brad, darling,

First, my boyfriend is Japanese, so I intentionally used "NE". So what's the fuzz about? Mind if I call you NEY, short for HONEY? Nah !! Second, If you are really one of the reporters based on the island, well, I feel sorry for you. What kind of newspaperman would use a typing machine that lacks the quotation mark key, I mean the " ", you know? Unless you really love question marks, I can understand you. Or maybe your right little finger is missing or maybe contracted, that your remaining fingers can't properly reach the quotation mark key? Anyway, read on. Third, let's get down to the issue. FDR was already deceased in 1968??? Oh my God, he was? I didn't mean to resurrect him. But you see, being in the Medical profession, I feel HIS LIFE EVERYDAY. He is ALIVE through the LEGACY he left.

What kind of newspaper would publish her responses in this style, a rebuttal to people's remarks about her writing that was never printed in black and white? Sparky, read Saipan Blogger and respond there properly. But of course, freedom of speech and your editor is so protective of you, so take your vengeance using the McDonald's newsletter. Ooops, did i say McDonald's newsletter? I happened to pick up one of "that" paper and noticed that McDonald's banner ad is bigger than your paper's mast head. People, McDonald's has nothing to do with this paper, ok. Oh well....

The Reveler


KAP said...

It looks like Ronald bought the ad, so it's their burger this week. Hey, if you write a columnist...

Looks like she thinks there could be 'sparks' here, but it'll never happen unless he starts riding the monorail.

I was going to blog something, but couldn't get past the title: "Driveling Miss Daisy".

KAP said...

Oh, is she pretty darn valuable or better Pacific times valuable?

The Reveler said...

that is sooo funny....

bradinthesand said...

She McGrilled me...

Ai Adai. You know the whole "question mark" thing was their stupid program plugging them in there instead of my quotes. Damn computers. Oh well, too bad "she" couldn't reply with anything solid. Love the excuse about FDR though.

“Libra” can't be Lek Lek, though, can it?

"She" does kind of write like her though, but a whole lot angrier.

Mr. Pitt

The Reveler said...

It's a committee under her name Mr. Pitt.

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